Sunday, June 12, 2011

Mary Poppins meets Nanny McPhee

Simply overwhelming! A database full of girls aged 18 to 27 (mostly 18).

Where to begin? How to find your Mary Poppins?
There is no simple answer!

For sure, once you find the right girl the experience is very rewarding. As the year slowly unfolds, they become part of your family and suddenly upon their departure a big empty hole is left to fill (or to put it in layman's terms, sheer panic of being left alone at the mercy of the terrible trio finally sets in!).

There is no happily ever after. The road to the attainment of this short lived happiness is full of challenges and compromises and so at best you may get a nanny McPhee, only before getting prettier she may get uglier...

And if you are now thinking you can do better than this because your master/ PhD in management and psychology will surely allow you to make the selection process effective and successful, think again! You can't make it the the Six-Sigma way:
You simply cannot Improve capability and Reduce defects in the process. 
These beautiful and enchanting personalities are unpredictable!

Having said all of the above, if you are still set in making your aupair selection a manifacturing process then here are a few pointers to get you started on this journey or better the " How to choose the best aupair for your family".
Choose a girl who is:
  •  pretty. Honestly, you and your family will need to look at her for a whole year! So if you trust your husband go for it! Note only if you can trust your husband: you all know what happened to the body of host mom Tara Grant when Victoria Secret catalogue-like aupair begun an affair with her husband!)
  • over, over 18. Especially if you have small children and need help. Remember regardless of the age, you will acquire an older sibling for your child. Just like your other children, they will be totally dependent on you, will not clean after themselves, will need your guidance every step of the way, will fight with each other, and will suffer existential crisis from time to time.
  • received an excellent score on the overall profile examination carried out by the agency. Excellent will at best give you a moderately depressed aupair who has personality and self esteem issues :)!
  • fit and healthy so that they will be able to run after your children, and also will be less likely to eat down the house!  And no, I am sorry but considering to hire an aupair with an eating disorder  to reduce your costs, it is not an available option and also unethical:)!
  • of compatible believes with your family or  else be prepared to give her a room that faces Mecca!
  • possibly not an only child,   floating around behaving like the "little princess" may not be of much help!
  • of a similar socio-economical background, just like your own children and common leaches they will suck you dry ...only they were never in your womb!
This definitively hedges your bets but even then I am afraid there are no guarantees :)!

If you managed to find an aupair that fits the bill then you are ready for the honey moon or the brochure experience !

Friday, June 10, 2011

Diaries of a Host Family

We have all thoroughly enjoyed the light hearted and humorous film "The Nanny Diaries", the tales of a college graduate as a nanny for a dysfunctional rich New York family....

...and now I present you with the "Diaries of a Host Mum" the tale of a middle class host family and their dysfunctional aupairs.

In fact even google is of the same opinion. If you run a search using the word "dysfunctional nanny" the top five hits are sites for au pair agency. Who knew! A simple google search could have saved 5 years of irrational and ridiculous.

 There is no more pain now, there is no more feeling, I am ready to tell stay tuned!